desperatemouselives I'd need to avoid receiving calls and SMS in my Owner profile and only allow them in a secondary, stripped-down, least-privileged profile.
There is a structural reason why this might not work. When the phone reboots (by accident or design), until the owner unlocks with a password or PIN the device is in a special state called "BFU" (before first unlock). In BFU many functions work only partially, and the apps need to be coded specially to work BFU.
In the BFU state all secondary profiles are at rest and can't run at all.
If you were successful in isolating phone functions to a secondary profile, it would not be possible to receive calls after a reboot, or even to place emergency calls. In your case this may be exactly what you want, but in general regulatory agencies strongly encourage phone manufacturers to make emergency calls possible at all times. So the behavior you are hoping for may well be untested, or there might have been a conscious decision inside AOSP to not support it.