Thanks for all the encouragement, guys! I just went ahead and ordered a Pixel 9 Pro, so I'm all in now!
Okay, so I've got a few other questions for when I set everything up. I've heard people mention using profiles, and I'm not totally sure if I need separate ones or not. But I do like the idea of having a main profile that's totally Google Play Services-free, and maybe keeping GPS on a secondary profile just for specific apps that need it. For example, I'm planning to use a VOIP service like MySudo for phone calls, and it seems like that needs GPS to work.
Does it make sense to keep that app in a secondary profile that's always running in the background? And if I'm in my main profile, will my phone still ring if a call comes in from the secondary profile? I'm also a little worried that keeping multiple profiles open at the same time will drain my battery a lot...