After struggling and getting several different errors (SIM not supported, device not supported, various error codes) I de-registered my number with RCS on Google's service page, and left it alone for a week or so until coming back to it.
I followed the instructions here: https://discuss.grapheneos.org/d/1353-using-rcs-with-google-messages-on-grapheneos/1185
But when I tried turning RCS on, I was greeted by "this SIM does not support RCS" or something to that effect. Neither my SIM nor provider (Fido; Rogers network in Canada) have changed.
Following someone else's advice I went in to cellular settings and turned OFF my primary SIM, toggled on an eSIM I had but which had been off, then toggled the two back how they were with my primary SIM being the only one on.
Then when I opened Messages, it showed "connected"!
HOWEVER, I don't believe it's actually working. All messages continue to be sent as SMS or MMS even when I know the recipient had RCS enabled.
Messages to multiple iPhone users are going through, including images (as MMS). And messages from them are being received. But images from multiple iPhone users are not being received.
So it's an improvement, but still not working properly it seems...