Meeting people who care about privacy

juanbur

Hey,

Apologies if this isn't allowed but, sometimes this space, not this place, but being aware, feels a bit lonely, where did you meet your privacy/security related friends?

Looking to meet people in my area.

Thanks in advance.

N1b

juanbur one more thing: My best friends don't give a damn about privacy or are very selective/ambivalent when choosing what tech to trust. E.g. one of them is super careful not using Facebook, but then turns around comfortably using WhatsApp, Discord, Opera browser all running in the background. It's fun sometimes to look at from the outside, but all you can do is giving hints here and there and not be annoying about it.

A good friend will respect your threat model and you should respect theirs. My friends installed Signal to stay in contact with me, and I'm okay that they give my number away to WhatsApp etc.

Don't try to change people. The most important thing is to have common values and interests to build on, and it won't always be privacy or cyber security.

N1b

juanbur I asked the mods to change the title so it can attract more people to discuss the matter. Hope that's okay with you.

@other8026 thanks for the quick reaction.

N1b

It's a good topic! Privacy fatigue, loneliness and depression are real issues and very common side effects for privacy enthusiasm. If not taken care of, it can really harm you and you are doing good to be aware and asking questions!

The best advice I can give from experience:

Go somewhere where privacy and tech enthusiasts are meeting. Is there a computer club, a convention or gaming event nearby? Search on social media for local groups and try to join them. If there is no tech related group, maybe there's another interest you share, like sports, board games, animals etc. I met the best friends at places of common interests.
Loosen up a little. Privacy is not about being perfectly hidden or not giving away anything. It's about controlling your data as well as you can and alongside your priorities. Social interaction is your priority, therefore you will probably want to open up and show a bit more about yourself. In any relationship, this will encourage trust which is important. For example you can make a Facebook or LinkedIn or even Tinder profile. Use an alias E-Mail, a throwaway phone number, maybe a drawing or comic picture of yourself and mention only few things (e.g. your interest in privacy and GrapheneOS). This way you can meet people without revealing all your data to Big Tech.
You should be honest about yourself when talking to people if you want to build relationships, but you don't have to talk about everything. It's okay, even authentic if you say "I'm not comfortable talking about this" or "I'm usually not giving away this information because xyz".
Privacy is an interesting topic, most people don't know a lot about it and might be interested if you explain to them how E-Mails and SMS are as private as postcards or how Apple is not private at all, just very good at marketing. Don't push it if people don't react to it, but your knowledge about things will naturally come up in conversations, and privacy is no different from other topics.
This is all much easier for extroverts than for introverts, but if you're an introvert you have great invisible powers you can use. Be aware of the amount of interaction and noise you feel comfortable with. Let others talk and ask them questions. In communication, it's much more effective to be honestly interested in people than trying to be interesting to people (general rule is 70% listening and 30% talking if possible). If others want to get to know you, they'll start asking and giving you hints. Apologies and self-irony are also very powerful, don't let your ego get in your way.
Not everyone will become a good friend, and that's perfectly fine. You can have a good and respectful time once anyway and never meet again. It's a numbers game, you need to slowly and steadily meet new people and a few will naturally stick. Most people are happy with 2-3 close friends and unhappy with too few or too many.

Anyway, I hope this helps and encourages you to find people in your area. You're doing the right thing here, asking for help and making people aware of the issue. I'm sure a lot of forum members here have similar issues and thoughts, so thanks for bringing it up!

juanbur

I also feel it's important to tell the devs of GrapheneOS that I appreciate y'all so much and I hope one day soon I can give back to y'all!

I will read the replies tomorrow. Stressful day. 🙏❤️

SpiderWebb

Interesting topic, 99% of my friends don't give a damn about privacy. It seems to me also that younger people care less and less. Such a topic that is so vital to the future of humanity seems to be ignored due to laziness and ignorance.

Jobloggs

Great topic...and good points too!!! It can be very lonely but know that there are ALWAYS people around the world who are no the same path. People have differing life experiences and threat models. Most of the people I know are flippant with their privacy.

I met many privacy oriented people from rallies I've attended, groups I belong to on channels and introduction by others. It is sometimes hard to find people with similar interests due to the nature of the topic and I find N1b1's comments and suggestions very, very good.