tronchoti
I share your struggles and can only concur. Current (AOSP) Desktop Mode is not ready for production.
Future:
The next interesting moment might be after Graphene has adopted Android 16 QPR 1 changes, That could comprise a improvement in desktop mode, since (Google's) Android 16 QPR 1 beta does have many features and fixes on that. You can find some first reports by contemporary Vloggers on usual video portals when you search for Android 16 QPR 1 and Desktop Mode.
It's however unclear to me, how much that part of google beta will be part of the final, productive release -- and whether it's still locked behind Developer Options.
Ofc i hope that it will be in and ripe and secure enough so that it can become part of regular (non-developer) settings. We'll see.