Weird, I have the same problem with my GrapheneOS Pixel 8 Pro and localsend.
Pop_OS -> iPhone works
iPhone -> Pop_OS works
Pop_OS -> GrapheneOS not detected
GrapheneOS -> PopOS not detected
iPhone -> GrapheneOS not detected
GrapheneOS -> iPhone not detected
It doesn't even work when manually inputing the IP, in neither direction. Same localsend version on all devices. Like localsend wouldn't have any connection, but networking and sensors are allowed.
Same router, nothing special in the settings there. iPhone obviously on Wifi, Pop_OS wired but the same subnet. GrapheneOS IP is also pingable in the local network.