brandy078
Overall, trust me, I feel your pain as someone who tried to make the switch to GrapheneOS and then switched back to an iPhone. I used an iPhone for several years, and quite literally every person I communicate with regularly uses an iPhone. That means I could not use iMessage or Facetime, which are most iPhone users preferred method of communication. Getting people to download and actually use Signal was quite a lift when they also only have iPhone users in their circles. Sharing photos/albums/files with loved ones was more challenging.
I understand that philosophically people should care and I definitely prefer an open source system to a closed source one. I exclusively run Linux Mint on my computers and I use GrapheneOS on a pixel tablet (because that is just a consumption device, I don't communicate with it).
However, I think there may be an argument to be made that if you do not use your phone for sensitive tasks and are generally a minimalist, there is limited downside to using an iPhone. Please allow me to elaborate.
I use my iPhone in the following way. I do not use iCloud so I don't need to worry about backup data going to apple and their promises of encrypting it. I do not use their apps like podcasts or apple mail, but instead use 3rd party apps. Siri is turned off. Generally, I followed all the guidelines provided by The New Oil and/or Michael Bazzell on how to best use an iPhone.
My iPhone is used for making phone calls, sending iMessages, sending emails (proton/tuta), listening to podcasts (overcast), google voice (for throwaway contacts), whatsapp (international contacts who exclusively use this), watching/listening to youtube videos (on brave browser so no adds & background play with screen off), and for business banking/credit card apps.
The way I figure, my SIM provider & ISP knows my location data at all times whether I use an iPhone or Graphene. They also knows my browsing history with either phone (if I don't use VPN). I don't do anything 'sensitive' on my iPhone. It is almost exclusively used with apps or communications where I am already 'identified'.
I use my computers or Graphene tablet for any type of sensitive browsing or just regular browsing while my iPhone is the daily carry that just works and I don't have much privacy expectation from it. I don't know what would be gained in this specific situation by switching my phone to Graphene.
I don't like the walled garden of apps that an iPhone offers. I don't like that they discriminate against some apps selectively. I don't like that they chatter all day long about where I am, what network I'm connected to, what other devices are connected to the same network, etc...
But I do like the bulletproof "it just works stupid" aspect of it. There is no app I've ever needed to use (cashapp, venmo come to mind) where I have fiddle with it or search online forums to figure out how to make them work. Again, I am a phone minimalist. I use it as a tool mostly for voice/sms communication and some entertainment on drives & when I have downtime (podcasts/videos). I think with the configurations I described above, there is fairly limited downside to using an iPhone.
If you're interested, here is the link to The New Oil recommended settings. And please do note, even they recommend using GrapheneOS over any other operating system if you have a high threat model:
https://thenewoil.org/en/guides/most-important/mobile-settings/