update:
I had a impossible time installing stock android using the web installer. In fact I thought it was my browser, then maybe some bad permissions (linux), then maybe a bad cable, then well maybe my router that blocks just about everything google, msft, ads... Anyway ended up reinstalling my whole desktop system and still had the same problem with latest chrome browser using web installer. (I needed to clean my computer out anyways, no big deal) The https://flash.android.com web installer just had a spinning icon and a greyed out box to flash. Maybe I am unlucky and it was down today? I ended up just using the script in the zip inside the rom that I downloaded. That worked flawless.
In the end now I am back on stock android, my esim is turned on and connected over wifi! yay!
I think this is a bug in grapheneos. The whole esim management has been quite a bad experience for me.
I hope it gets better, I know I am going to stay 6 feet away from the esim settings when I reinstall gos.!