I have been a years long GrapheneOS user since I was in middle school, not out of necessity, but because I liked and still do like the project and have a personal interest for security. And general frustrations with the common security faults of many devices. I also like the way GrapheneOS doesn't force anything unto the user, it's very minimal which makes it feel "clean" in a way.
I do not have a goal of being "anonymous" and my threat model is mostly preventing hackers and other cybercriminals like scammers and fraudsters from damaging me financially or otherwise. I do prefer to minimize surveillance done by big tech because I find surveillance capitalism to be disgusting in it's very nature. (I believe tracking individuals for profit to be unethical) State actors or anyone who would be willing to spend millions on exploits for targeted attacks on me are completely outside of my threat model.
I used to maximize security by going completely overboard and not having a single online account, no personal email, no phone number, etc. I would always use Airplane mode and make use of user profiles and consider any app that wasn't directly developed by GrapheneOS or another project I trusted to be malware.
I can't exactly say why I did that, there never was any legitimate reason to do any of that, perhaps teenage maximalism as some may call it.
As I grew up and graduated from higher and higher tiers of education, and I don't want to sound offensive, but I genuinely cannot imagine how it is possible to live an adult life while doing what I did, (if anyone reading this somehow manages to, I applaud you for your incredible patience, I could never lol.) I started what I would call "having a life" and now I don't use a long passphrase as my lockscreen and instead use a 6 digit PIN without MFA unlock. I also have a SIM card and don't use Airplane mode because I need to know when I get a call from my bank, employer, doctor, etc.
TL;DR: Adult life and it's responseabilities associated with it suck and I want to be 3 yrs old again. :)
Jokes aside, I still feel very conflicted, because while I do realize that I don't need to and probably shouldn't go overboard with security, and understand that using a Pixel with APP enrolled will get me 70% of the way to what GrapheneOS offers, I still feel bad and like I'm doing something immoral or lazy by not rejecting the convenience of Stock and embracing the security and privacy benefits GrapheneOS offers instead.
I'm unsure if it's because I still haven't grown up fully (I am still pretty young tbf and have only been working for a couple years), or if it's just what everyone that's interested in security since being a child experiences.
Has anyone else experienced something similar? Especially the feeling of guilt for wanting to use the more convenient option.
Because it's not that my Banking app doesn't work on GrapheneOS or that I can't replace the frankly godawful stock apps with Google clock and unitto for example. The only real downside of using GrapheneOS I experience is some small friction here and there, lack of tap-to-pay and a sometimes visually unappealing UI. (I don't just mean stock apps here, Google Play doesn't have MDY themeing due to the sandbox either for example) and not being able to use a Pixel Watch or Fitbit.
I don't expect anyone to be my therapist, but a word of advice would be much appreciated.
Also excuse the long post, I have been thinking about this for many months and finally decided to ask the community. :)