jarell 'd hate for GrapheneOS to go under because the community became too toxic for the devs to handle.
You stated that the devs are few in number. I can see that on the github page, unless there are many not listed there.
In my decades of experience, most devs in anything but a tiny project should develop - not interface with the public.
Many devs have knowledge and experience which are in short supply - as stated here repeatedly. Their valuable time is squandered by hanging in chat forums. And some devs are not people persons so they actually do their project harm by interacting directly with users and leaving bad, public impressions instead of designing, coding, testing, and releasing which only they can do.
Fortunately, GrapheneOS devs are complemented by non-devs like @matchboxbananasynergy who have proven enthusiasm and skills dealing with users - even me - day after day. I would suggest that folks like @matchboxbananasynergy are equally as valuable to a F/LOSS project like GrapheneOS.
If a dev on any project is getting turned off by "toxic" users, I suggest they focus only on the software work, especially in a project like GrapheneOS where there are already excellent public-facing volunteers doing a good job. People who create excellent documentation are equally valueable.
On that, I want to give a big shout out to the longtime developer and F/LOSS community member Marcel Bokhorst of FairCode, who has not only produced an excellent F/LOSS mail client, which I use on GrapheneOS, but has top notch, friendly interpersonal communication with his users. I am a new FairEmail user and just gave him a big donation this week for all of these attributes.
A well-known tenet in the non-profit fundraising world of which I have experience is that people give do not give to infrastructure or even organizations. They donate to people. GrapheneOS falls short here in my experience with many organizations, but that can be changed and the project - and devs - will benefit.