I figured it out on my new phone I think:
on my old phone(6a), clicking the notification did nothing. I kept getting the notification
on my new phone(9a), clicking the notification sends me to Settings > Passwords, passkeys & accounts
Under "Preferred service" the active service was "None". Once I clicked the pen to edit the Preferred service, I was allowed to select Google, and I don't expect I will recieve any more notifications about this. This now allows google to autodetect when I'm trying to log in and offers me to autofill my existing logins to use.
Eventually I gotta get off this and use a locally hosted password manager.