dregrinfuces I'm using LocalSend in the meantime, thanks for the alternative recommendation though. I went to developer options and it was by default set to "No Data Transfer", so I changed it to "File Transfer", but it doesn't seem to tangibly change the situation at all. Still no ability to see my phone on my computer. USB Controlled By is set to "This Device".
I also noticed that if I don't go into "USB" in connected devices after I plug my phone in, the USB option actually disappears after 5ish seconds. If I do go into USB from connected devices, it lets me stay in the menu until I exit (but the default option stays on, so it still doesn't revert back to No Data Transfer anymore) and then it disappears.
I should also note that I've used multiple different cords and ports, both USB-C/USB-C and USB-A/USB-C, same result all times.