Mat888 In USB Preferences, they're the same on both phones - File transfer/Android Auto
I'm not sure how to help you. I don't have a stock device handy.
On GrapheneOS, "USB default configuration" is a developer option, and I am concerned it was mentioned, because in general developer options get in the way of normal functioning, and it seems as if something is getting in the way of normal USB functioning.
Also, on GrapheneOS the options under "USB preferences" are not the same as the options under "USB default configuration" in developer options.
The good news is that the USB settings on the device you are trying to flash GrapheneOS onto probably don't matter, because that device should be in the bootloader when plugged in.
So I guess I would recommended turning the developer options master flag off on the device running the installer, and then try various options in USB preferences. I hope that helps!